Just an update…

I have been struggling with getting my workouts in. I can feel it. Bleh! I haven't been losing as much as I want, been the same weight for about 2 weeks now. I can't seem to get it through my thick skull…I'm going to have to work at this. I'm going to have to work HARD at this. Just do it. No excuses.

I'm working on that.

Yesterday I had the doctor draw blood to get some "before" statistics. I will get those results either today or tomorrow…maybe post them, not sure yet. I thought it might motivate me to try a little harder. I want to be accountable and may start weighing in at the doctor's office every couple of weeks…just an idea.

On a brighter note, I think I have overcome my depression, at least for the most part. When August came and the kids went back to school, I was crushed. (For those that don't remember, I am a teacher that was laid off last year due to cutbacks in education.) I SO enjoyed spending the summer with them, without the stress of preparing for the upcoming school year. But when school started, and the kids were all up and getting ready, bustling around in the mornings, and then leave to catch the bus; I felt lonely. I didn't know what to do. I felt worthless, unneeded, and I thought I was a failure. After hubby and kids were gone, I would lie down on the couch and cry myself to sleep. I would sometimes nap for the majority of the day… I knew this was not okay; I was in a deep, dark place. August and September were a blur, and if I didn't do something different I wasn't going to get any better. I would eat, sleep, cry and then do it all over again. My slump lasted until October 1^st. I reevaluated my actions and started to make changes.

On October 1^st, I decided to make permanent changes. No more naps in the mornings; instead I would exercise or do something else constructive (even blogging is better than eating or sleeping!). I joined WW and started to think about food differently. I got creative with healthy food so my family could eat the same things that I was eating…they need to eat healthier too, right? Since October 1^st, I have felt so much better. I don't nap anymore. My house is more clean and organized. I have held my head up high and decided that I am "needed" and worthy of my family's love; and more importantly, worthy of my own love and respect. I have realized that I am not a failure. I am a good teacher, (my scores from last year's test PROVE it!!!); the government, school district and principal are all failures. They should have done things differently and not cheated so many children out of a quality education.