…and you were scared…

Day 55 of my new life…

Well, after last week's "epic fail" I have decided that I need to find a strategy for motivation…Whoa, huh, a real revelation here. Isn't that what we all struggle with? Now that it's getting cooler outside, I'm not as "thrilled" to go walking. I have a gym and a treadmill at home, but I have not been "on plan" with using them. I was for a while, like 6 weeks, but now…not so much. I think it's just one of those things I need to JUST DO. NO MORE EXCUSES!

I decided not to weight in last week. I knew I hadn't made the best food choices and I only walked 2 times! I just was too disappointed in myself to step on the scale. It's ok that skipped it, but I knew I needed to face up to what I had done (AND NOT DONE!)… so this morning I decided I would weigh in. I step on the scale and looked…it was actually down 2 more lbs! I couldn't believe it! The minor food changes I have done HAVE really made a difference!

I am proud of that. I have lost 20 lbs. I can cross off another goal. Woo-hoo!

I have decided to wait 1 full week and a few days until my next weigh in (12/10/10)…even with the holiday, I'm hoping for a big number. I just need to realize that those BIG numbers come from EXERCISING AND EATING RIGHT!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Day 43, Weigh In

257 lbs. Woo-hoo! That's 18 lbs. GONE!

Even though I haven't been on my A-game lately with working out and even straying off my eating plan a bit…I have still lost weight. I attribute this to making better choices, even when I splurge. I eat treats in moderation, and that's ok. I never wanted to be on a plan that made me starve or deprive myself. I just want to eat less junk and smaller portions of the good stuff. I do want to work out more than I have been…but over all I am proud of myself!

It's a yucky, nasty, cold and rainy here today. I think I'll throw in my dvd (Big Bang Theory – Season 1) and watch tv while I walk on the treadmill for a while before starting to dig out the Christmas decorations. Yes, I am aware that it is not even Thanksgiving yet, but I just love the holiday season this year! I have been Ms. Scrooge for the past few years, but this year, something is different…maybe it's my new attitude toward living and LOVING life! I can't wait to sit by a cozy fire and look at the beautiful tree! I have already been listening to Christmas music since November 1^st! And on Thanksgiving, I will have turkey and be thankful just like every year, then I will go back into Christmas mode. lol… :)

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Just an update…

I have been struggling with getting my workouts in. I can feel it. Bleh! I haven't been losing as much as I want, been the same weight for about 2 weeks now. I can't seem to get it through my thick skull…I'm going to have to work at this. I'm going to have to work HARD at this. Just do it. No excuses.

I'm working on that.

Yesterday I had the doctor draw blood to get some "before" statistics. I will get those results either today or tomorrow…maybe post them, not sure yet. I thought it might motivate me to try a little harder. I want to be accountable and may start weighing in at the doctor's office every couple of weeks…just an idea.

On a brighter note, I think I have overcome my depression, at least for the most part. When August came and the kids went back to school, I was crushed. (For those that don't remember, I am a teacher that was laid off last year due to cutbacks in education.) I SO enjoyed spending the summer with them, without the stress of preparing for the upcoming school year. But when school started, and the kids were all up and getting ready, bustling around in the mornings, and then leave to catch the bus; I felt lonely. I didn't know what to do. I felt worthless, unneeded, and I thought I was a failure. After hubby and kids were gone, I would lie down on the couch and cry myself to sleep. I would sometimes nap for the majority of the day… I knew this was not okay; I was in a deep, dark place. August and September were a blur, and if I didn't do something different I wasn't going to get any better. I would eat, sleep, cry and then do it all over again. My slump lasted until October 1^st. I reevaluated my actions and started to make changes.

On October 1^st, I decided to make permanent changes. No more naps in the mornings; instead I would exercise or do something else constructive (even blogging is better than eating or sleeping!). I joined WW and started to think about food differently. I got creative with healthy food so my family could eat the same things that I was eating…they need to eat healthier too, right? Since October 1^st, I have felt so much better. I don't nap anymore. My house is more clean and organized. I have held my head up high and decided that I am "needed" and worthy of my family's love; and more importantly, worthy of my own love and respect. I have realized that I am not a failure. I am a good teacher, (my scores from last year's test PROVE it!!!); the government, school district and principal are all failures. They should have done things differently and not cheated so many children out of a quality education.